You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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