Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
