the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
