You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My liver just had a heart attack.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
