She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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