apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
