You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Boobs speak an international language.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
