Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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