At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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