If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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