lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
