You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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