That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
