can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
