One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
