im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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