he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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