check it out our google latitudes are spooning
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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