I wannas sexs uuuuu
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
