Umm I'm too high to move.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
