I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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