i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
