so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
