just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
