There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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