Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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