Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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