do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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