yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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