I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
