Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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