my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
