dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
