Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
