apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
