is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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