My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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