Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We are all done wearing pants today
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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