If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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