i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
