So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
