No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
