Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
