apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
