I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
