I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
