Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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