she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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