I heard we made out
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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