Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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