You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
