I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
